Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Lego for Change


Knock on some doors, make some calls, and don't forget to vote.

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posted by Caroline @ 10:04 PM  

Write to Marry Day (No on 8)





I tried to start a conversation about same-sex marriage with Ben and Eli, but Ben was so surprised to hear that some people don't believe it should be legal that we got derailed. Eli only wanted to know if he could marry Ben some day. So no great wisdom from the kids on the topic, but here's what I think in a nutshell: marriage has been around a long time, and it's a better institution now than it was several hundred years ago (when it was basically a real estate deal) and it's a better institution now than it was even several generations ago (when it was less a real estate deal but women still had few rights). The more people who can participate in the institution, the stronger it's going to be. Vote No on Prop 8.

And because cute kids always help the cause, I'm including a picture of Ben at his first wedding, of our friends Brianna and Angie, back in the days when for same-sex couples it was a ceremonial ritual with no legal rights. Some day, I hope he looks back at this picture and smiles at how far our country has come.

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posted by Caroline @ 8:15 AM  

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Write to Marry Day Tomorrow!


Spread the word! On October 29th, Mombian is hosting a blog carnival to help defeat California's Proposition 8.

Here's the info from Mombian:

Please join bloggers around the country and around the world on Wednesday, October 29 to blog in support of marriage equality for same-sex couples and against California’s Proposition 8.

The event will give bloggers a chance to voice their opposition to Prop 8 and highlight what they may have already done, online or off, to stop the measure. The campaign will also educate California voters of the need to “go all the way” down the ballot to vote on the proposition.

Mike Rogers of PageOneQ approached me last week to ask if I’d organize a blog carnival like Blogging for LGBT Families Day, but this time to help generate awareness and action against Prop 8. I readily agreed, and here it is.

To participate, post on your own blog against Prop 8 on or before October 29, 2008, then submit the link to your post by completing the form below. Links to your own videos on YouTube or other video sites are also accepted.

Many of you have already done much to try and stop Prop 8 in California, donating and raising money, blogging, and talking with friends and family. Please share your efforts and post about them for Write to Marry Day, or submit a link to a previous post. This will help us create a comprehensive view of bloggers’ efforts to stop Prop 8.

I urge you to spread the word about this event as widely as possible, on both LGBT and mainstream sites. All bloggers who are against Prop 8 are welcome to contribute posts, regardless of where they live or whether they are LGBT or not.

I will showcase the full list of participants here on October 29.

Not only that, but all participants who leave a valid e-mail address will be entered into a drawing for a $50 gift certificate to Amazon.com.


I'll be posting a little story here later.

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posted by Caroline @ 1:02 PM  

Sunday, October 26, 2008

That's "Autodidact" To You

Overheard in the car:

Ben's friend: "Ben, how do you know so much?"

Ben: "I'm self-taught."

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posted by Caroline @ 11:35 PM  

Friday, October 24, 2008

Start Your Christmas Shopping Now!


OK, I realize I've been ignoring the blog a bit lately, but it's been a busy time spreading the news about Mama, PhD. So I'm delighted to stop talking about that book (just for a moment) to announce the publication of my essay, "Wonderful Life," in the new anthology, (Health Communications, Inc). The book is one-stop Christmas shopping, with essays, stories, recipes, pictures and advice on how to get through what can be a stressful holiday without losing sight of the magic. I've never shared space in a book with a martini recipe before, and I am well pleased. My piece is based on my Literary Column on It's A Wonderful Life; here's an excerpt:

Christmas Eve, 2002

It's my first Christmas as a mom, and I as sit rocking infant Ben to sleep in the darkened room, I realize that the ubiquitous Christmas telecast of It's A Wonderful Life (Frank Capra, 1946) is flickering on the ancient television. The sound is muted, but I remember the dialogue. George Bailey (Jimmy Stewart) has just learned that Uncle Billy misplaced the day's deposit, and despite sacrificing his whole life for the Building & Loan, George is ruined. He can't listen to his wife Mary cheerfully prattle on about their daughter Zuzu's cold. He rages about the money spent on the doctor, their money-pit of a drafty house: "I don't know why we don't all have pneumonia!"

Ben stirs in his sleep and cries out. I hold my breath as I adjust his IV, which has tangled around my arm and pulled taut. I touch my lips to his sweaty head and he relaxes back into sleep. I exhale, relieved to have avoided another cycle of the anguished cries that raise his fever and bring the nurses running with another round of invasions.

We have pneumonia.


Go pick up a copy of to read the rest!

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posted by Caroline @ 2:27 PM  

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Timeline


4:45 AM: Alarm goes off. Tony and I get up, dress in the dark (he realizes hours later that he's wearing different pants than he'd intended), get the boys up and dressed. "Is this New York day?" asks Eli sleepily. A quiet "Yes" is all it takes to get the boys bounding down the stairs

5:06 AM: We're in the car to the airport.

6:15 AM: We're parked, through security, and waiting at our gate. Tony breaks out the new laminated "Plane Spotter" cards he got for the boys, and I read to them about the rules of aerodynamics while they look out the windows for planes.

7:15 AM: Boarding. The airline has screwed up our reservations, so we're not all sitting near each other. Eli and I wind up next to a nice woman who, spotting the manuscript I'm commenting on, strikes up a conversation about mothering and writing. Before long, we've exchanged names and she's written down the URLs of the various websites I work on. I can't remember the last time I talked to a total stranger, and realize it's kind of fun.

9:00 AM: Many nice people change their seats so that the four of us can sit in adjacent rows, thus simplifying the distribution of snacks and DVDs. Neither of the boys sleeps, so neither do Tony and I. Still, the 5 hours pass pretty easily with books, coloring, snacks and DVDs.

3:30 PM (Eastern Time): Landing. Eli falls asleep. We let the rest of the plane empty out so he can have a few minutes' cat nap. When I eventually unbuckle him and start to lift him up, he stirs. "I'm awake! I want to walk!" He doesn't want to miss a minute of New York. With no checked bags, we get through the airport quickly and are on our way into Manhattan.

5:00 PM: Hotel check-in. Our room offers a view of the Chrysler Building. The boys don't want to leave the room so they can draw our view. We finally lure them outside.

6:00 PM: First stop, Grand Central Terminal. We ooh and aah at the starry ceiling, painted with constellations, buy a cookie, and watch a couple trains come and go. I enjoy being a tourist here, in this busy place where I was always so wary and busy, so many years ago. We take the shuttle to Times Square, paraphrasing the whole way, and climb out into the bright lights. We are greeted by Mickey Mouse, Minnie, and Elmo, we don't know why, but the boys are delighted and give them all high fives and knuckle bumps. We walk across and down to Bryant Park, where we find a lovely small carousel giving its last rides of the night. We buy the boys tickets, and when Ben gets off, he explains to us how he calculated the carousel's speed by timing one revolution and multiplying by the number of circuits; his math is good. We walk around to roar at the library lions, then head back down 5th Avenue toward our hotel.

8:30 PM: The boys eat a dinner of salad and cereal picked up from the corner market. Tony walks back to Grand Central to get us some good pizza from Two Boots. Ben draws a picture of the Chrysler Building while Eli, spun, gallops back and forth, naked, across the hotel room.

10:00 PM: One reading of Sky Boys to prepare for tomorrow's sightseeing, and the boys are asleep, their parents not far behind.

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posted by Caroline @ 7:34 PM  

Friday, October 17, 2008

The Books We're Carrying


The reading material we bring on a trip is always a good snapshot of the boys' current interests. For our summer vacation, we brought a couple books in the DK Eyewitness series-- and -- plus and although I brought many other books for the boys to read, that's really all they wanted. So this trip, I let them each choose two picture books, plus one chapter book:











Meanwhile, I've just started Andrew Sean Greer's beautiful , which is set in our neighborhood of San Francisco in 1953; Tony is also getting some historical perspective on current events by reading . If only his book were fiction, too...

image credit

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posted by Caroline @ 4:42 PM  

Monday, October 13, 2008

Mama at the Movies: What's Your Point, Honey?


My new column's up at Literary Mama; here's an excerpt:

Ben first became interested in politics last winter, when his kindergarten teacher organized a peace march to celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday. The kids painted posters and made a wandering parade down to the Fillmore district of San Francisco, singing "Happy Birthday" and chanting "What do we want? Peace! When do we want it? Now!"

Now, Ben divides politicians into two camps: those who uphold MLK's principles, and those who don't. He has decided Obama is his candidate, will argue his opinion with his classmates, and has dedicated his sidewalk lemonade stand to raise money for the campaign. I only wish he could vote.

Instead, we've been reading political picture books like Gloria for President, and I'm keeping my eye out for movies about elections that are appropriate for kids. I had high hopes for the documentary I saw recently, What's Your Point, Honey? (Amy Sewell--writer of Mad Hot Ballroom--and Susan Toffler, 2008), but it's too talky for my young kids. Still, I think it would make a good conversation-starter to watch with boys and girls about ten and up.

Read the rest over at Literary Mama, where you can also read Violeta Garcia-Mendoza's new column about starting preschool, Multi-Culti Mami, and new fiction, creative nonfiction, and a terrific new reading list, too!

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posted by Caroline @ 7:54 PM  

Friday, October 10, 2008

How To Make a Museum Docent Happy

Ben's 1st grade curriculum includes a terrific focus on the visual arts. It starts in the classroom, where the students' tables are named for artists (Picasso, Monet, Seurat, etc), and carries on in the weekly 90-minute art studio sessions, where the boys started with full-size self-portraits and have now moved on to still lifes in the style of Matisse. Ben's always loved to draw, and he's got art in his genes, so we figured he would eat this all up, but he's even more excited about art right now than Tony or I could have imagined. He's bringing home artists' biographies (there's a great series published by the if you're looking to encourage your budding artist), he's drawing elaborate pictures of his future studio, and he's asked that we put the Metropolitan Museum of Art on our site-seeing list so that when we go to New York City next week, he can visit the Monets.

So when he had a day off from school yesterday, I decided to take him on a scavenger hunt, looking for paintings by Monet, Picasso and Matisse in museums around the city. Since we'd be spending a fair amount of time on the street car, too, I tossed in a couple extra-museum items, like election signs, Halloween decorations and the like. But it was the paintings that really got him going.

First stop, the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art:

Enter museum pulled by eager 6 year old tugging on your arm. Get out museum floor plan and hand it to him. Watch as he scans map and then announces, "Matisse. . . 2nd floor! Let's go!" Watch docent beam.

At the Palace of the Legion of Honor:

Enter museum pulled by eager 6 year old tugging on your arm. Get out museum floor plan and hand it to him. Watch as he scans map and then announces, "Monet... Gallery 19! C'mon!" Docent beams, asks "How old is he?" and nods at the answer; "That's how old I was," she says.

And there at the Legion of Honor, inspired by the sight of students with their paints and brushes, copying some of the pieces on display, Ben got out his paper and pencils and got to work:


Turns out, what makes a museum docent happy makes a mama pretty happy, too.

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posted by Caroline @ 10:18 AM  

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Mama, PhD Event at UCA

Cross-posted at Mama, PhD...

In my essay for Mama, PhD, "The Bags I Carried," I describe a couple of the outrageous things people said to me when I was a pregnant faculty member at Stanford, and how isolated I felt, despite my very supportive chair, Andrea Lunsford, and the generally friendly atmosphere of the campus. Outrageous and isolating tend to make for better narrative than the calm waters of pleasant interactions!

But one of the people who made my life at Stanford especially collegial was Mary Ruth Marotte, who taught in the writing program with me, and happened also to be pregnant (she with twins). We talked about her dissertation project on images of pregnancy and childbirth (coming soon from Demeter Press), about the ups and downs of our classes, and about our hopes to continue teaching and writing after our children were born.

We've taken different paths in the past 7 years, but I'm not surprised that we still have a lot to talk about, and I'm delighted with the response to the symposium Mary Ruth just led at UCA with her colleague, Paige Reynolds, and Mama, PhD contributor Aeron Haynie. A write-up in the local newspaper reports:

Professors and students at the University of Central Arkansas tackled a tough subject Monday, questioning ways women are often forced to choose between raising children and pursuing an academic route.

Focusing on the book, Mama PhD: Women Write about Motherhood and Academic Life, the group presented the view that it is possible though difficult to do both.

The idea for the conference came from two English professors, Mary Ruth Marotte and Paige Reynolds, two tenure-track women who also raise children of their own.

Marotte said Mama PhD took a good look at how even 21st-century women are finding it hard to focus on both the academic world and their family.

"That's what the book does so brilliantly, to give voices to women who often feel silent," she said.

You can read the rest of the article at the Log Cabin Democrat. Thanks to all who participated in the event!

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posted by Caroline @ 10:37 AM  

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Calling all Ohio Area PhDs...

Calling all Stay-At-Home Doctorates!

We are exploring opportunities for stay-at-home Parents Holding Doctorates (PHD) to use their training and expertise in creative ways.

JOIN US!
Monday October 13, 2008 7:00-8:00 pm

OR

Wednesday October 15, 2008 1:00-2:00 pm

Museum of Biological Diversity
1315 Kinnear Road
Columbus, OH 43215

For more information, please contact
Joan Herbers herbers.4 AT osu DOT edu
Donna Wenzel dwwenzel AT msn DOT com

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posted by Caroline @ 8:46 AM  

Monday, October 06, 2008

A Profile!

Last spring, when I was visiting Libby in Richmond, I had the chance to sit down with Elrena and Libby's colleague Terry Dolson for a long talk about mothering, graduate work, and the different paths that brought Elrena and me together to create Mama, PhD. Somehow, Terry managed to whittle the conversation down to a readable couple pages, and the result is at LiteraryMama today.

Terry starts by talking about her experience as a pregnant woman in a graduate program in English, and comments:

Was it naiveté that convinced me then that the complex path to combining motherhood and academia were mapped already? No one told me it was; no one talked about it at all. Not talking about it allows for assumptions about "how it's always been" to go unquestioned. In a comment on a recent InsideHigherEd.com article, one male academic seriously described academia as "a gentlemanly profession." Thank goodness that Elrena Evans and Caroline Grant's book, , begins to outline a new path. This collection of essays by women trying to navigate the "gentlemanly field" of academia may be the first step toward addressing the "ivory ceiling." I spoke with Caroline and Elrena at a coffee shop near my campus to learn what inspired this essay collection.


Click on over to LiteraryMama to read the rest!

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posted by Caroline @ 1:01 PM  

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Movie Minutes

I have a lot of catching up to do! So here are my quick thoughts on some of the big summer releases and quieter fall films, current releases and Netflix picks.

Burn After Reading: Boring. What a surprise! Great cast (Frances McDormand, Tilda Swinton, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, John Malkovich, Richard Jenkins--who is so lovely in The Visitor, and is wonderful in a doomed role here), playing really pretty stupid, uninteresting characters. Oh, well.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona: This is such a pleasure to watch; it's an essay film in the classic Chris Marker sense: one proposition explored via the stories of two characters. I found the conclusion (no one can change; love is doomed; etc) ultimately a little depressing, but still: Barcelona, Scarlett Johansson, Penelope Cruz, and the fabulous Rebecca Hall--I'll spend two hours in their company any day.

Conversations with Other Women: Riveting. A ninety-minute conversation between a man (Aaron Eckhart) and woman (Helena Bonham Carter) who meet up at a wedding, about fidelity, friendship, and love. Best declaration of love: "I am available to tolerate you in your golden years." The only thing that bugged me was the split screen: the entire movie is shown in two side-by-side squares. Sometimes the characters move from one into the other, sometimes they don't. I understand that it's a Very Significant Metaphor, but it started to wear thin.

Sex & The City: Eye candy. It's not nearly so well-written or satisfying as the series, but I went with a group of friends and the movie theater served cocktails, so I have no real complaints.

The Women: Not even decent eye candy. The mothers (Debra Messing and Meg Ryan) are all flowy dresses, messy hair and long scarves, the others (Annette Benning and Jada Pinkett Smith) are too buttoned-up and skinny and fierce. This remake bothered me in so many ways, but it's not worth detailing them; just go rent the original instead.

The Visitor: An "unlikely friendship" movie, this time between a weary economics professor and the young Syrian man he finds squatting in his apartment. I didn't love this, though it's very well-intentioned and has two wonderful performances by the male leads (Richard Jenkins and Haaz Sleiman). There was an earnest inevitability to the story that distracted me.

Frozen River: Oh, this is a very good, very sad movie. It's the story of a mother who gets involved smuggling illegal Chinese and Pakistani immigrants over the Canadian border into New York and (again) the unlikely friendship she develops with a young Mohawk woman who lives on the reservation. The performances -- from the two women and the children--are heart-breaking. Best bit of dialogue:
Son: "There's nothing to eat."
Mom: "There's food!"
Son: "Popcorn and Tang?!"

Murderball: A documentary about paraplegic men who play wheelchair rugby. Fascinating. A little uneven--the film digs into the details of some of the men's lives and leaves others unexplored--but I learned a lot.

Iron Man: If you like Robert Downey, Jr, you will enjoy this movie, a politically savvy spy/action movie about what happens when a weapons manufacturer has a change of heart. Smart and fun.

Then She Found Me: Loved Bette Midler. Didn't love the assumption--which drives the second half of the movie-- that if you want a baby you can just go pick one up in China (that snarky line from Juno is still resonating).

Tropic of Thunder: More Robert Downey, Jr, this time with Ben Stiller and Jack Black, too! A wicked satire about the Hollywood production of a Vietnam War movie. Brilliant.

Infamous: This came out about the same time as Tru, and with its smaller budget and less famous actors, got overlooked. But Sandra Bullock is wonderful as Harper Lee, and the portrayal of her complicated writing friendship with Truman Capote had me engrossed.

The Swimming Pool: Charlotte Rampling as a frustrated novelist with an overactive imagination and Ludivine Sagnier as her frequently-topless muse. I watched this around the same time as Infamous, and so can't help comparing them. Infamous is more interesting, and less clichéd about women writers.

Helvetica: A documentary about the font. I enjoyed it for a while--I do love listening to people who are passionate about their interests--and then I confess I fell asleep.

The Counterfeiters: A terrific movie about an expert forger who's imprisoned in a concentration camp and enlisted to make counterfeit British and American currency in order to destablize their economies and support the Nazi war effort. The main character, played by the incredible Karl Markovics, is a thief but also an artist, and it's interesting to watch him wrestle with the ethical questions raised by his situation.

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posted by Caroline @ 9:28 AM  

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

On Publicity

Elrena and I are learning so much about publicity now as we try to spread the word about Mama, PhD, we are guest blogging about it today for Cindy Green; check it out:

So you’ve written the book. You’ve gotten an offer, you’ve signed the contract, you’ve edited yourself cross-eyed. Now all you have to do is wait for publication day.

While you’re waiting, this is the perfect time to start thinking about publicity—the bridge that will span the gap between you and your readers, the tool that will bring your book to your buyers. Here are some tips to get you started:

Click on over to Cindy Green to read the rest!

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posted by Caroline @ 10:40 AM